Restructure

Things have been restructuring lately. I am changing the way I look at things. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that the blinders I like to call my ex have been removed. I can now go back to being myself which is such a relief. Relationships are funny. They change you before you ever realize anything is different. Now that I am no longer conducting my life worried about what one person will think, I have opened my eyes to so many new possibilities. I no longer want to be the person they wanted me to be, but the person I was meant to be. I am sad that I no longer have the steady love and affection I was receiving before. Instead I am learning what I should have learned years ago, how to whole heartedly be myself. It is exciting and scary at the same time. I am doing things I never thought I could.

Here is what I am going to do. I am going to do one new thing a week and post about it. Any ideas of what this week I should try? If no one has any ideas I will think of something and surprise you with what I come up with. I will post pictures along with it to prove what I have accomplished. I think this will be an amazing fresh start!

Song of the Day: LIGHTS - February Air

Whoops forgot about this

Hahaha is it bad that I forgot I had a blog. Things these days have been way too hectic. I moved home for what ended up being a really rough month. I do not want to go into details but loosing those you love will change your life forever. Now I live in Chicago...my favorite city. I am still working in music and actually developing a whole department on my own. It is not easy at all. There are days I think it would be soooo much easier to just go work for someone else who has all of the relationships I need already established. It gets to the point sometimes where I am waiting for responses from people that may never come. I try to stay positive but its hard when you are not getting paid for your time. I work so hard and have yet to see the rewards of my work. I am not talking about being paid, I just want one of the artists I work with to know how hard I work and to be able to hear their music on tv. Just being able to say I put that song there would mean the world to me.

On another note, my personal life is hell. That is all I have to say about that.