Restructure

Things have been restructuring lately. I am changing the way I look at things. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that the blinders I like to call my ex have been removed. I can now go back to being myself which is such a relief. Relationships are funny. They change you before you ever realize anything is different. Now that I am no longer conducting my life worried about what one person will think, I have opened my eyes to so many new possibilities. I no longer want to be the person they wanted me to be, but the person I was meant to be. I am sad that I no longer have the steady love and affection I was receiving before. Instead I am learning what I should have learned years ago, how to whole heartedly be myself. It is exciting and scary at the same time. I am doing things I never thought I could.

Here is what I am going to do. I am going to do one new thing a week and post about it. Any ideas of what this week I should try? If no one has any ideas I will think of something and surprise you with what I come up with. I will post pictures along with it to prove what I have accomplished. I think this will be an amazing fresh start!

Song of the Day: LIGHTS - February Air

Whoops forgot about this

Hahaha is it bad that I forgot I had a blog. Things these days have been way too hectic. I moved home for what ended up being a really rough month. I do not want to go into details but loosing those you love will change your life forever. Now I live in Chicago...my favorite city. I am still working in music and actually developing a whole department on my own. It is not easy at all. There are days I think it would be soooo much easier to just go work for someone else who has all of the relationships I need already established. It gets to the point sometimes where I am waiting for responses from people that may never come. I try to stay positive but its hard when you are not getting paid for your time. I work so hard and have yet to see the rewards of my work. I am not talking about being paid, I just want one of the artists I work with to know how hard I work and to be able to hear their music on tv. Just being able to say I put that song there would mean the world to me.

On another note, my personal life is hell. That is all I have to say about that.

What to do....?

Yup it has come down to the decision to stay in California and continue to increase my debt or move back to Michigan. It is not as easy of a decision to make as you might think. See if I leave LA I will be leaving the music industry. I want to make it work. My dream to be a music supervisor has not been even remotely fulfilled. I have not had a chance to prove to anyone that this is what I was meant to do. I just want to be given the chance thats all. Things in this industry are just so biased. If you have the experience then you have to know the right people, if you have no experience you are constantly told that "it will take time". Well time is something I do not have a lot of. I want to get shit started. Why do people keep telling me I have to pay my dues and work my way up when I can just jump right in and prove to them I was meant to do this. No one wants to deal with a newbie but no one wants to give one a chance. I want to meet the right people but not just people that will help me further my career, people that will teach me or mentor me and will have my best interest at heart. I get the feeling that I threaten those that are above me because I am so driven and they do what they can to keep me down. Wow I'm whiny tonight...could be that I'm home sick and bored out of my mind. But besides the point. Ugh and I have the shittiest boss. Let me give you some insight...he is not even legally separated from his wife of 18 years and he is dating someone. This someone happens to be our company HR and bookeeper...hmmm fancy that. I have nothing against her because he is the one making the bad decision. He is the boss what could she do. He is such a scum bag...plus he introduced his new girlfriend to his kids...oh yeah he has two little girls. Just looking at him makes me sick. There are so many things wrong with what he is doing. There are so many things wrong with him in general. I just want out. Whatever I am over it...for now. I am so much better than to waste my time worrying about a man that will not be in my life in the next few months....at least as long as I can find another job. Alight Im done bitching for the night...until next time.

Finally!

So Sorry it has been so long since I last posted anything. A few things have been going on that have taken up my time and energy. First off I moved. Yup, I finally got out of the uncomfortable situation I was in and got my own place. It is amazing. Sure I don't live on the pretties looking street (Vine...those that know it know what I mean) but when you walk through that tunnel and you come out the other end and all you see are flowers and trees and vines growing everywhere you think "is this real." It is perfection. I am so happy at my new place, however, as with every new place it has its flaws. For instance it has very old wiring, plumbing, and appliances. This is ok by me except that I have no where to plug anything in because there are a total of 3 outlets in my entire apartment. What were they thinking....oh thats right it was built before we relied on all of these crazy things like computers and microwaves. But besides that it is amazingly safe and quiet and I love it.

Second, my job is stressing me out beyond belief and I don't even do anything remotely important. How sad is that. I want to think that people would be lost if I wasn't around but that is a joke. I am totally replaceable which makes it even harder. I love the music industry but when you work for a company that doesn't realize that I need two other jobs just to pay rent...you know you are under appreciated. The other thing that makes it so hard is that I did not come to LA to update artists myspace pages. I want to work in music supervision or publishing. I have just recently started really researching this to death so that when I get the opportunity to do something along these lines I am ready. I have signed up for a conference in Beverly Hills (damn straight) that will help a lot. Now, grated it only cost me an arm and a leg to get into this conference and I have officially increased my credit card debt because of it, but I hope that one day it will all be worth it.

Third, I want to come home. There I said it. Things in Michigan are so much easier. I know that if I go back it wont be the same but I miss it so much. Its hard to explain to people that a phone call does not replace seeing someone in person. I need that personal contact to get me through the day. I have never been a loner and I probably never will but I am alone out here a majority of the time. I have made some good friends but I still feel uncomfortable totally being myself. Its hard when you have made friends, mostly from work since that is all I seem to be doings, but you don't know 100% that you can trust them but they are all you have. I want to believe that they will be there for me if I need them but I cannot ask that of people I have only been associated with for a few months. I'm sure they feel the same way. Oh and dating anyone out here is totally out of the questions. Holy crap the guys out here are crazy! I don't even know how to describe them. Ok here it goes...most of the men seem to be self centered, ego driven, controlling and always looking for someone better. What is that? I have been in LA for Less than three months and I already know I want nothing more then friendship from any of them. I guess that is a good thing since my love life was a mess before I even moved out here.

Alright Im falling alseep so its time to call it a night. I will attempt to stay on top of this now that I have internet in my new place (only took two weeks....story for another time).

Siting - Michael Johns and Brooke White - at Boarders for an Instore I was hosting.

Music - Anything by Passion Pit

Quote - "Claving a good time...Clavalanche....anything CLAV related!"

Blog layout change

This is just to let everyone know I have added links to some of my fav new music and videos. I will attempt to keep that updated, but you know what, I am not so good at that but I will give it a go!

Please watch the ROOTBEER video it is freaking hilarious!

Um Yeah...

Alright for those of you following this things have taken a turn...the luck I have seem to come out here with may just be running out. I officially have to move to a new apartment. Yup, all those things I said before about being so excited for the place I found in an amazing neighborhood with a great roommie are not so true anymore. I am not gonna say much more about it other than I am looking for a new place which I need to move into by Sept 1st...hot damn this is gonna suck. So if you have any suggestions just let me know!

Other than that things at work are interesting. My best friend at my full time job just got laid off. I was super confused by this because she was so good at what she did. It makes me nervous that at any point my job will just be unnecessary. It almost makes me want to go to medical school just so that I know I will have a job. Someone please tell me otherwise! The music industry is a lot of fun but very unpredictable. It is def a love hate relationship right now.

Well since I have been officially hired full time they have been giving me a lot more responsibility. I have been pitching commercials for some of our artists and doing a lot more publishing and promotion. I still do not have a title however. I love getting to know the business but I am thrown so many random projects that I am only getting skin deep in each division of the business. I want to follow one project all the way through from start to finish so that I know what to do in that instance. PS I love that my degree in Nutrition is being put to great use!

My waiting tables job is going as well as any job in the food industry could go. The people that work there are amazing and can pretty much make me smile with no effort but pretending to be a happy camper all the time not so much fun. I have had a couple really bad days and then had to instantly become perky and whitty (hahaha thats funny) and all of that decides what kind of money you will be walking home with at the end of the night. Not OK. Granted wait wage is a lot more out here then back home but it does not make up for the fact that if I can't make a guest happy I get screwed out of the money for my work. I do eally wish that it made more money cause I work my ass off for the little that I get. I worked more then 65 hours this week and I have very little to show for it. Oh wow this just because a pitty party for myself...jesus...ok done!

One more thing. I have just became the biggest fan of the band Twin Atlantic they are from Scotland and freaking amazing. I really hope they get more press because they deserve it more then most of the acts that are popular these days. If you want some more info on them let me know and I will direct you where to find out. I guess that is it for now!

Music : Twin Atlantic - Light Speed
Famous People : Andy Milonakis (hahaha totally)

For Mark

Since I have been told I needed to update this I am. I didn't think anyone read it so Im kinda excited. So here is what has been going on. I will be starting my full time job in the music biz on Monday....crazy I know. I have been in LA for a little over a month and my internship has already turned into a full time job. Its a good thing to because my other job waiting tables is not raking in the money I was expecting it to. But I will be financially set once I start Monday. I am really excited! I am making my way in the music industry and gradually getting one step closer to my dream. I am nervous at the same time because I will be starting the 9-6 office job. This scares me a bit because I like the flexibility of having a day off in the middle of the week but at the same time I need the stability of getting up at the same time every day and going home at the same time every night. Anyway that is the major thing that is going on for me out here in Hollywood.

One of the perks of my job is that I get to go to some really cool events. The other night I got free tickets to the X-games 3D Movie Premier Red Carpet Event. I was stoked. My friend from work and I both brought people and we showed up and took one look at the Red Carpet and immediately found another enterence. HAHAHA me not wanting to be in the spotlight? Well not when Pam Anderson and Hayden Panettiere are there. So we made our way inside and the movie was amazing. I love extreme sports and being able to see the movie with the actually stars was awesome!!
The following night I was able to go to a Park The Van Showcase. It was for three of their bands that we have been working with. The best part was that my name was on "the list" yeah thats right I got to say that as I walked into Hotel Cafe. It felt great. Not only did I get in for free but I skipped the line to get in. Oh man was I cool....hahahaha not really but I felt like I was. So the showcase was amazing. The bands, Generationals, Golden Boots, and Floating Action, were so good. If you have not checked them out I highly recommend you do. So that is it for right now as far as events go.

Star Sightings!!!!

So since I have been out here seeing someone famous is pretty much part of an everyday adventure. Not always a super famous person but if I can recognize them then they are famous to me. So first off I walked into work the other day and immediatly was told I had a table outside that was just having drinks. As I walked out the door I ran right into Justin Hartley from Passions (which is what I new him from) and Smallville. Holy crap he is beautiful. Well turns out he was with several other caste members from Passions. I was so excited that show was middle school for me. But anyway needles to say they were great and I had a lot of fun waiting on them.
Next, and guys pay attention, Carmen Electra was in our office on Friday. Yup you read correct, Carmen Electra. HAHAH I guess she may be coming out with an album....who knew.
The final star sighting that I have for now is Chris North, Mr. Big from Sex and the City. He came into the resturaunt the other day and all the girls were going nuts. He is not to hard on the eyes in person. And he paid for his whole tables meal nice guy huh. But other then that I don't have anything cool to say about him since I did not wait on him.
Well that is about it as far as star sightings are concerned. I will leave you with some suggestions and hopefully I will not have to wait 3 weeks to update this.

Music: Generationals - Wildlife Sculpture